DAY ONE (Tuesday November 5-Wednesday November 6)

 

Took off from LAX in a massive airbus on Tuesday afternoon, LA time. The flight was 10 and a half hours; being in Business Class made it bearable.

 

My seat was on the second floor of the bloated aircraft. Takeoff was so gradual and smooth, it didn’t seem possible to go aloft, but we did. The entire flight was very smooth and satisfactory.

 

My seat companion was not very interested in conversing, and I myself was quite knackered, so little chatting occurred.  I was just coming off a very active weekend, topped off by a late night trip to the airport to pick up Tamra from the Caribbean, so I was happy to try and rest, which I did more or less successfully.

 

When I left the US, it was in the middle of Election Day, November 5.

 

In Munich, when passengers began to wake up, the first indication I had of who the winner was came when I heard a woman call out, piteously “Oh, NO!” (which could have been a remark about a number of things) and then “Did she congratulate him?” (which seemed to narrow down the possibilities.)

 

I’m headed to Malta, my final destination for the next three weeks. I will be acting in a feature film called HUNGRY, the logline of which, when I read it, made me guffaw:

 

Storyline: Set in the mysterious and dangerous landscape of the Louisiana swamplands, a group of holidaymakers embark on an airboat tour. Unaware of the dangers of the bayou, they venture off the beaten path, lured by the promise of an exclusive adventure. Little do they know that their journey will turn into a fight for survival against a ravenous hippopotamus concealed within the bayou’s depths.

A ravenous hippopotamus? Count me in!

 

I did the audition at home, as is the custom, and sent it in. My booking ratio over the last year has not been very encouraging, so I truly was surprised when I received, not a callback, but an actual offer!

 

Galvanized by opportunity, I researched the writer/director, James Nunn.  He had directed a similar genre film about sharks menacing unlucky young people stranded on a Ski-doo.  The trailer was very professional.

 

When I read the script I relaxed. It really is pretty good, full of scares and suspense and memorable characters, economically and cleverly written, a bit of good ol’ date night fun.

 

I am really happy to have gotten a part like this, a real role, with action and physical challenges, along with humor!

 

Most of the roles I’ve won over the last ten or so years have involved me sitting at a table having a conversation with another character, usually played by an actor making an orders of magnitude higher salary than I.  Senators, doctors, corporate heads in a boardroom, a judge on a dais, things like that.

 

In HUNGRY, I play a retired NYC fireman, one of the above mentioned “Holidaymakers” (doesn’t that seem like something you’d find emblazoned on the side of a mobile home on a campground somewhere?) who must struggle for survival with his daughter and grandson in the swamp.  Not a chair for miles. I couldn’t be happier.

 

For the kinds of roles I normally have been getting, since I’m only employed for a day or two, I’ve fallen into the habit of not investing a lot of time in the creation of the character. It just seems like wasted effort.

 

For this role, I decided to change that and really apply what I’ve learned from my recent studies at The Acting Center about creating a full and convincing character. I know any time I put in will not be wasted, even given the kind of tongue in cheek genre of this movie.

 

I researched New York City firemen on Youtube and found some likely characters to study and absorb. I also contacted friends who put me in touch with a real live former NYC fireman, and we had a lengthy phone conversation, yielding more useful data.

 

I got a good picture in mind of my guy, Tim. In my imagination, he has a tattoo and sideburns, and a mustache.

 

It was too short a runway for me to actually grow a real mustache, but luckily I was prepared. After the pandemic, when I had grown out a nice big ‘stache, I decided it would be advantageous to have one made that I could apply for certain roles, since it looked nice.

 

I didn’t want to keep the homegrown version since it isn’t pleasant to sleep with, and Tamra doesn’t like kissing me while I had it, so I contracted my wig man, Justin Staffor, who makes very realistic hairpieces for film and TV, including some terrific beards and mustaches for Breaking Bad.

 

For the tattoo, I first tried to enlist my old makeup friend from The Grinch, Rick Stratton, but he has effectively retired, too burdened with aging family to really commit to projects. A shame, since he is a tattoo expert, and had made a name for himself with his realistic temporary tatts.

 

He recommended another old friend, Christian Tinsley, who is a talented makeup artist whom I also met years ago on The Grinch. He was in his early twenties then, just starting out. Now his shop is one of the few survivors in Hollywood.

Christian advised me on what would be needed for a tattoo and sent me some references, photos of actual firemen and their “ink”.  I took those and designed a tattoo of my own on my iPad that could be processed by Christian’s shop, in enough quantity to cover a two week shoot.

 

He told me that the “sticker tattoos” should hold up well, even in water, which is important, since most of my scenes take place in or near the swamp.

 

It was also smart for me to design my own, since productions need to get permission to use tattoos seen in a movie from the artist; they maintain copyright of their images, even though others literally wear them on their skin.  So, as the artist, I will happily grant permission.

 

I have other ideas about the character, but am going to wait to discuss with James Nunn when I get there.

 

I spoke with him once from home, on a Zoom call. He seems very cool. We had a lovely introduction, and one of the first things he mentioned was that he was a fan of my Instagram posts!  “That’s not why I hired you, but your audition was the best and I thought, ‘I know that guy.'”  So, chalk up another one for social media.

 

The whole trip from my home in LA to my hotel room in Malta took me about 21 hours.

 

When I was on the little tram from the gate to baggage claim at the Malta airport, a man about ten years my senior shuffled over and said, “Do I know you from Tiktok?”  We had a nice chat and arranged to meet so he could show me around Malta a bit. He told me “I’d invite you this weekend, but I just got a pacemaker installed and I need to take a few days to recover.”  So we will meet soon.

 

I am so delighted that a Maltese stranger knew me from socials, and was interested enough to tell me he liked my posts! Couldn’t wait to tell my daughter!