June 28, 2023
Deadline: Ended
Winner
Hunter Hopewell
"Unfortunately for Dan, there was an expert in the audience on crossing roads and the reasons behind it."
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And that’s WHY I crossed the road!
“To get to the other side!”
When you said you had a big cock coming I thought you only meant me.
I’m funny too! I’m a comedi-hen.
One more why did the chicken cross the road joke and I’m going to egg you!!!
“Hey funny man, I came here for the Buffalo wings not to get insulted. I don’t give a cluck – I’ll show you why I crossed the road.”
You tell her that I didn’t come first!
“Noo, the chicken did NOT cross the road just to get to the other side. It was to watch some decent stand-up comedy to get away from the same cliche jokes, but here we are…
Cluck Cluck
Who’s there?
Not the chicken, cuz I’m outta here.”
I say, I say, Jimbo… do your Foghorn Leghorn impresison
“See? It’s not as funny when I ask why did the human cross the road, is it?”
I thought this was a poultry reading, not poetry!
If I hear one more cluck cluck joke I’m walking!
I heard the same jokes last night at the Chicken Coop Bar! Enough with the Cluck Cluck, who’s there jokes!
Enough of the: Cluck Cluck, who’s there joked!
Sir, I’m a chicken, not rooster. Please, no more cock jokes.
Nevermore!
I crossed the road to get away from Marvin Hagler here
Henny Youngman, you ain’t
Listen you wannabe Rickles, one more crack about me being a hen-pecked husband, I’ll come up there and show you who’s boss
Stop with the Coronel Sanders imitation. Some of us don’t find him funny.
One more wisecrack about who came first me or the egg and you’re outta here❤️😜🤣✌️
Enough with Cluck Cluck, Who’s there jokes!
DON’T even START on ruffling my feathers MATE 😝
“I’ve just laid an egg. What’s your excuse?”
“Wait! You’re telling me my favourite singer Salmon Ella has cancelled ‘cos she’s got food poisoning. I don’t believe it!”
“Sorry pal, that is NOT why the chicken crossed the road…”
You keep making fun of me like that and I will KFC-you in the parking lot after the show!
After his KFC joke seemed to enrage a member of the crowd, Jim decided to cut the rest of his chicken related humor from the set.
“Don’t be a chicken,we want to hear your set!”
“Because that’s where my car was!!”
So, tell us why the comic crossed the road. Huh? Huh? Huh?
Yes, I had to cross the road to get here. What’s it to ya?
‘Sir, you’ll be hearing from my lawyer..!’
“I came first dammit! Not the egg!”
Unfortunately for Dan, there was an expert in the audience on crossing roads and the reasons behind it.
Do the one about the C. Everett Coop again.
“You think your arms are tired, buddy? I had to hail six cabs before I could get a lift to this place.”
“You think your arms are tired, buddy? I had to hail six cabs before I could get a lift to this place.”
Excuse me…I got lost crossing the road. Would you direct me to the comedy club?
Woke Chicken: No, please go on. Continue mansplaining my intentions for traversing an intersection!
Because of my religious upbringing, *hiccup* omelet that one slide Mr. *hiccup*
“How about a guy walks into a restaurant and orders COMEDIAN wings?? Not so damn funny NOW, is it?”
There will be NO “Why did the chicken cross the road” jokes today, buddy!
Well, let me just tell you why I crossed the road!
Oh no… please continue hu-mansplaining how I choose to traverse an intersection.
“You think your arms are tired? Buddy, I had to hail six cabs just to make it to this place.”
Cmon man your laying an egg up there right now, and I WOULD KNOW
Do Foghorn Leghorn as Captain Picard!
“Well it certainly wasn’t to come see this schlock.”
Asian bird flu jokes? You’re ruffling my feathers!
That’s the last time I’ll let you scramble my eggs!!!
THOUGHT BALLOON: “Why is there always a clucking clucker in every show I do?”
“She liked her eggs HOW in the morning?!”
Comedian: So here’s an oldie, why did the chicken cross the road?
Chicken: Pretty simple, to get to the idiot’s house!
Comedian: Not what I was going for, but thanks for the input.
Chicken: Knock knock.
Comedian: Who’s there?
Chicken: ME.
Wait!!! I gotta crow and I gotta crow now
hey pal… you’re no henny youngman
looks like I’m not the only one laying an egg!
hey I had to cross the road to get here.
which is more than you did!
excuse me… I don’t mind your fowl language
oh come on… that’s not fowl language!
I am not heckling you — I’m egging you on!
umm, the same reason a human does…
to get to the other side!
hell I’ve got better yokes than that!
sorry, my bad… the buck stops here
hey… do you need a wingman?
no I’m too chicken to do standup
hey can’t you recommend the veal
like every other comic!!!
the headliner vs. the dinner special…
a new promotion at yuk yuks.
uh hello… my eyes are up here!
after being cooped up all day
bucky loved to take in some comedy
excuse me… how did you know I was from buffalo?
yeah I’m from buffalo… why is that funny?
excuse me… what time is the roast?
but the nightmares finally got to him —
and jim stopped doing kfc corporate events
it was so hot — hens were laying omelettes!