June 28, 2023

Deadline: Ended


Hunter Hopewell 

"Unfortunately for Dan, there was an expert in the audience on crossing roads and the reasons behind it."

  1. Adrienne Swirtz June 29, 2023 at 7:23 am

    And that’s WHY I crossed the road!

  2. Liberty Dickinson June 30, 2023 at 1:20 pm

    “To get to the other side!”

  3. Amber Jones June 30, 2023 at 3:16 pm

    When you said you had a big cock coming I thought you only meant me.

  4. Cindy Feshbach June 30, 2023 at 3:20 pm

    I’m funny too! I’m a comedi-hen.

  5. John Primm June 30, 2023 at 3:28 pm

    One more why did the chicken cross the road joke and I’m going to egg you!!!

  6. Di Moore June 30, 2023 at 3:33 pm

    “Hey funny man, I came here for the Buffalo wings not to get insulted. I don’t give a cluck – I’ll show you why I crossed the road.”

  7. Emilie Kong June 30, 2023 at 3:51 pm

    You tell her that I didn’t come first!

    • Benedict Termilus July 20, 2023 at 9:52 pm

      “Noo, the chicken did NOT cross the road just to get to the other side. It was to watch some decent stand-up comedy to get away from the same cliche jokes, but here we are…
      Cluck Cluck
      Who’s there?
      Not the chicken, cuz I’m outta here.”

  8. Adrian Carr June 30, 2023 at 3:58 pm

    I say, I say, Jimbo… do your Foghorn Leghorn impresison

  9. Mark June 30, 2023 at 4:49 pm

    “See? It’s not as funny when I ask why did the human cross the road, is it?”

  10. Cindy feshbach June 30, 2023 at 4:50 pm

    I thought this was a poultry reading, not poetry!

  11. Sheila Jindela June 30, 2023 at 5:37 pm

    If I hear one more cluck cluck joke I’m walking!

  12. Sheila Jindela June 30, 2023 at 5:41 pm

    I heard the same jokes last night at the Chicken Coop Bar! Enough with the Cluck Cluck, who’s there jokes!

  13. Sheila Jindela June 30, 2023 at 5:47 pm

    Enough of the: Cluck Cluck, who’s there joked!

  14. Shawn Cone June 30, 2023 at 6:28 pm

    Sir, I’m a chicken, not rooster. Please, no more cock jokes.

  15. Paul Pival June 30, 2023 at 7:06 pm


  16. Bill Green June 30, 2023 at 7:13 pm

    I crossed the road to get away from Marvin Hagler here

  17. Daryl Herrick June 30, 2023 at 7:25 pm

    Henny Youngman, you ain’t

  18. Daryl Herrick June 30, 2023 at 7:32 pm

    Listen you wannabe Rickles, one more crack about me being a hen-pecked husband, I’ll come up there and show you who’s boss

  19. Daryl Herrick June 30, 2023 at 7:46 pm

    Stop with the Coronel Sanders imitation. Some of us don’t find him funny.

  20. Dr. Marissa June 30, 2023 at 7:49 pm

    One more wisecrack about who came first me or the egg and you’re outta here❤️😜🤣✌️

  21. Sheila Jindela June 30, 2023 at 7:57 pm

    Enough with Cluck Cluck, Who’s there jokes!

  22. Sharon July 1, 2023 at 1:06 am

    DON’T even START on ruffling my feathers MATE 😝

  23. Ivor Gleek July 1, 2023 at 2:48 am

    “I’ve just laid an egg. What’s your excuse?”

  24. Ivor Gleek July 1, 2023 at 6:02 am

    “Wait! You’re telling me my favourite singer Salmon Ella has cancelled ‘cos she’s got food poisoning. I don’t believe it!”

  25. Michael Delaney July 1, 2023 at 7:05 am

    “Sorry pal, that is NOT why the chicken crossed the road…”

  26. David Skutnik July 1, 2023 at 7:52 am

    You keep making fun of me like that and I will KFC-you in the parking lot after the show!

  27. Jordan July 1, 2023 at 9:18 am

    After his KFC joke seemed to enrage a member of the crowd, Jim decided to cut the rest of his chicken related humor from the set.

  28. Brooke Hawkins July 1, 2023 at 12:42 pm

    “Don’t be a chicken,we want to hear your set!”

  29. Walter Cox July 1, 2023 at 2:58 pm

    “Because that’s where my car was!!”

  30. Mary Lee Krackow July 1, 2023 at 5:38 pm

    So, tell us why the comic crossed the road. Huh? Huh? Huh?

  31. Steven Brandon July 1, 2023 at 11:16 pm

    Yes, I had to cross the road to get here. What’s it to ya?

  32. Simon July 1, 2023 at 11:28 pm

    ‘Sir, you’ll be hearing from my lawyer..!’

  33. Dawn Biedermann July 2, 2023 at 11:56 am

    “I came first dammit! Not the egg!”

  34. Hunter Hopewell July 2, 2023 at 11:58 am

    Unfortunately for Dan, there was an expert in the audience on crossing roads and the reasons behind it.

  35. Matt Skinner July 2, 2023 at 8:05 pm

    Do the one about the C. Everett Coop again.

  36. Evan Berry July 3, 2023 at 5:46 am

    “You think your arms are tired, buddy? I had to hail six cabs before I could get a lift to this place.”

  37. Evan Berry July 3, 2023 at 5:50 am

    “You think your arms are tired, buddy? I had to hail six cabs before I could get a lift to this place.”

  38. Mary Cisco July 3, 2023 at 8:50 am

    Excuse me…I got lost crossing the road. Would you direct me to the comedy club?

  39. Noah Voiding July 4, 2023 at 2:45 pm

    Woke Chicken: No, please go on. Continue mansplaining my intentions for traversing an intersection!

  40. Brian July 4, 2023 at 2:53 pm

    Because of my religious upbringing, *hiccup* omelet that one slide Mr. *hiccup*

  41. Greg Moore July 5, 2023 at 12:08 am

    “How about a guy walks into a restaurant and orders COMEDIAN wings?? Not so damn funny NOW, is it?”

  42. Steven T Smith July 5, 2023 at 11:32 am

    There will be NO “Why did the chicken cross the road” jokes today, buddy!
    Well, let me just tell you why I crossed the road!

  43. Noah Voiding July 5, 2023 at 3:22 pm

    Oh no… please continue hu-mansplaining how I choose to traverse an intersection.

  44. Evan Berry July 6, 2023 at 6:52 am

    “You think your arms are tired? Buddy, I had to hail six cabs just to make it to this place.”

  45. Chris Zolliecoffer July 9, 2023 at 5:39 pm

    Cmon man your laying an egg up there right now, and I WOULD KNOW

  46. Karl Holub July 11, 2023 at 5:42 pm

    Do Foghorn Leghorn as Captain Picard!

  47. Andrew Cochrane July 11, 2023 at 8:09 pm

    “Well it certainly wasn’t to come see this schlock.”

  48. Laura Sherman July 13, 2023 at 8:00 am

    Asian bird flu jokes? You’re ruffling my feathers!

  49. Tanya Irving July 13, 2023 at 9:41 am

    That’s the last time I’ll let you scramble my eggs!!!

  50. Edward Sanko July 17, 2023 at 9:42 am

    THOUGHT BALLOON: “Why is there always a clucking clucker in every show I do?”

  51. Kameron Maurer July 18, 2023 at 7:09 pm

    “She liked her eggs HOW in the morning?!”

  52. Thomas McCabe July 28, 2023 at 7:14 am

    Comedian: So here’s an oldie, why did the chicken cross the road?

    Chicken: Pretty simple, to get to the idiot’s house!

    Comedian: Not what I was going for, but thanks for the input.

    Chicken: Knock knock.

    Comedian: Who’s there?

    Chicken: ME.

  53. Carolyn Carney July 28, 2023 at 4:56 pm

    Wait!!! I gotta crow and I gotta crow now

  54. danny mann July 29, 2023 at 9:28 pm

    hey pal… you’re no henny youngman

    looks like I’m not the only one laying an egg!

    hey I had to cross the road to get here.
    which is more than you did!

    excuse me… I don’t mind your fowl language

    oh come on… that’s not fowl language!

    I am not heckling you — I’m egging you on!

    umm, the same reason a human does…
    to get to the other side!

    hell I’ve got better yokes than that!

    sorry, my bad… the buck stops here

    hey… do you need a wingman?

    no I’m too chicken to do standup

    hey can’t you recommend the veal
    like every other comic!!!

    the headliner vs. the dinner special…
    a new promotion at yuk yuks.

    uh hello… my eyes are up here!

    after being cooped up all day
    bucky loved to take in some comedy

    excuse me… how did you know I was from buffalo?

    yeah I’m from buffalo… why is that funny?

    excuse me… what time is the roast?

    but the nightmares finally got to him —
    and jim stopped doing kfc corporate events

  55. danny mann July 29, 2023 at 9:34 pm

    it was so hot — hens were laying omelettes!

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