May 13, 2023

Deadline: Ended


David N. Aitken

Jim-Meskimen - Cartoon Contest - 68

“Sorry, we still don’t know who the sperm donor is, but we will be looking.”

  1. Stuart Defiel May 14, 2023 at 12:38 pm

    Hey Ariel! Are we still on for tonight? Ursula is out of town!

    This is from Eileen, not me.

  2. rainn wilson May 14, 2023 at 9:11 pm

    And if he DOES turn out to be mine, you’ll get a check on the first of the month!

  3. Alexandra Duparc May 14, 2023 at 10:44 pm

    A one night stand resulted in one little eight legged man.

  4. Roger Olsen May 14, 2023 at 11:08 pm

    Hey, great lookin’ kid you got there. That in vitro fertilization is really
    somethin’, huh?

  5. David N Aitken May 15, 2023 at 4:12 am

    Sorry, we still don’t know who the sperm donor is but we will be looking.

  6. Francesco May 15, 2023 at 6:10 am

    “Cute kid, Ma’am! He’s got your eyes!”

  7. Adrienne Swirtz May 15, 2023 at 7:03 am

    “Good bye, Dear!

    “Don’t forget Mom is coming over for dinner tonight. She’s looking forward to wrapping her arms around the baby again.”

  8. Cindy Feshbach May 15, 2023 at 9:49 am

    “She’ll be quite the multitasker”

    Call a Mari, not a doctor

    If I were you, I’d enter her in Squid Games.

    Come back next week for the ink blot tests

  9. Beverly Flynn May 15, 2023 at 5:24 pm

    Could I interest you in a free DNA test? Maury Povich is looking for guests to appear on his show.

  10. Simon Brookes May 15, 2023 at 7:16 pm

    I believe we may have found out who the donor is!

  11. Bruce Bowden May 16, 2023 at 11:53 am

    “Hey, would you like to sign our petition against alien ‘Donations’ to sperm banks?”

  12. carlos May 16, 2023 at 3:54 pm

    “Excuse me this is Octward but I believe you have my binky”

  13. carlos May 16, 2023 at 3:58 pm

    Sorry to bother you, but I lost my pen. May I borrow some ink?

  14. James Justice May 16, 2023 at 7:23 pm

    “Could you answer this brief survey on trans-species parenting?”

  15. Bruce Bowden May 16, 2023 at 11:22 pm

    “Hey, would you like to sign our petition against extraterrestrial ‘Donations’ to sperm banks?”

  16. Ivor Gleek May 17, 2023 at 11:48 am

    Darling, remember to stop by the babywear store and pick up four pairs of bootees for little Oswald.

  17. Ivor Gleek May 17, 2023 at 3:46 pm

    “Excuse me. Can I interest you in a copy of The Tentacle Commandments?”

  18. Tanya May 24, 2023 at 8:54 pm

    I meant he had 8 tentacles!!!

  19. Dr. Marissa 'Asian Oprah' May 30, 2023 at 1:03 pm

    A Day in the Life of My Octopus Teacher: “Excuse me Mrs. Ross, I forgot to tell you that there’s been a change in your baby’s recommended diet…we are using plant based protein so please release that fish back into the ocean!”

  20. danny mann June 17, 2023 at 10:57 pm

    see ya at 6 ariel… love you…
    bye bye nemo… wave to daddy


    bye honey… oh and easy on the cod
    or he’ll be up all night ok?


    mornin’ dr. smythe
    ( just act natural honey, no one suspects a thing )
    golf friday, right?!


    well at least it wasn’t a fly
    like price and goldblum had to deal with


    ohhh geez… PANTS!
    will I ever get used to their customs?


    coming this fall from disney and guillermo del toro…
    shape of water — the sitcom


    I can’t believe he’s ignoring us…
    he KNOWS he’s the father


    testicles… tentacles…
    it was an honest mistake
    you know physicians’ handwriting

  21. Di Moore June 19, 2023 at 6:47 am

    Stop stalking me – I told you, I’m going to have to ask for a paternity test…

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